two months.

after you died
it was the strangest thing how
my soul was so
quiet, and full
of light filtered from
this wide world
you left behind

( what i mean to say is
not that i'm glad you are gone.
it's just that, i'm embarrassed by
how beautiful this morning is)

And despite the joy,
i keep clinging to these
curbs and counter tops.
Everywhere i go there are
purple cardigans and
the smell of cigarette smoke.

And despite the clinging,
I cant help but stand
here in the glow of a life
finished. begun.
with shaking hands


I just can't figure out
how to open my eyes
wide enough
to understand this
shifting light

August

As the summers ebb in and out and past and
The other seasons follow suit and
So carefully, so wonderfully,
So full the days come to
stay
awhile,
to laugh and weep and sigh awhile
before
they slip out the back
And away, and
these things that form our everydays
softly become
the things we used
to do.

The new things have come again

Startled, I see that
I have sailed a few miles
Beyond the familiar
Though I don’t remember it.

we’re all learning
to grow up
A little bit at a time

11/3/07

Freshman Year

“I feel like I’m living my afterlife”
I said,
Beside the moving van.
Because I couldn’t see
how the story
Could possibly end up
going
somewhere
else.
Somewhere I hadn’t yet been.

My heart was a suitcase
Overflowing
Recalling the
years of seasons
now passing away.
where
sky and sea spit through with fireworks,
While we sat in
the crooks of familiar elbows,
holding our hearts in our hands

And still,
I didn’t know
yet
How to lean into
This Lover
who beckoned me
Laughing,
Into all my days.

3/17/09

Sometimes it seems that
We are like children with sticks
trying to explain
the biochemistry of the universe, or
the way a sunrise feels
after long darkness, or
love.

It’s not worthless,
But it's small.
We are fools that forget.

Uzzah shared his living room
With the Ark and the awful glory
Of Him whom strong angels are undone before.
(Imagine! In your living room!)
Until,
thinking he knew Holy well enough,
Stepped out to grab it, and died
there on the road to Jerusalem
Did he even know what hit him?
Did he have any idea anymore?


God, do we know you much at all?
Do I know you much at all?
Please let us know you as we should..

Let us be more like the artist, who,
while finishing his sketch,
Trembles
At the magnificence,
And for the longing
To represent the truth

Sunday after I turned 25

Isn’t it funny how we love communion
Even though we don’t understand it much?

Driving home the trees created black against the sun and open fields
I know I want to go where You go.

I want- I admit- many things tonight. I am surprised by the tears that might come
If anyone else asks me about my birthday. my friends. the future.

But. The trees are holding out their arms together
In front of this orange light and my

memories of Your kindnesses.
They are singing.

A new corner I have turned with lines unfaltering
Your faithfulness reaches past my gaze- holds me fast, close in.

Breathe cold air. Bury my face under your wings.

We wait for You.

My face is
The face of a fool

Seeking peace
In lusting the horizon,
In soft thoughts that
Fill my head, my belly, with
sugary stale air,
This glaze over emptiness.
I’m walking away
from peace.
I’m walking away
from You.
Seeking to
fill a fantasy
Rather than
Gaze.

“I’ll have no other gods before You”
I have said
When I put on this ring.

My heart
Has forgotten
what it knows, and
Has gone whoring
Under every green tree.




"For we do not present our
pleas before you
because of
our righteousness,
but
because of

Your
great
mercy.

O Lord, Hear;
O Lord, forgive.
O Lord, pay attention and act.

Delay not, for your own sake, O my God,
because
your city
and
your people
are called by your name."

though the earth give way,

if there is one thing that
i have learned
about You
it is that
You are mysterious-
and your ways are mysterious.
You dwell with man
in the silence
and in the storm.
He knows you while
wandering through the dark
and living beside the dawn.
in truth-
i have been torn
and healed
by the same hand,
and still call You
"Friend".

no harbor exists
here
save for
Thy will
be done.